If i go

If i go away, would you stay back and think of me,if i say that i am though would you watch me as i walk away you’re drowning me in my tears,you ripe’d my heart out of my chest and shattered it on the cold hard ground,i keep hurting myself so now you can stay back as far as you can, so i can love again if i die young would you send me away with the words i’v been singing,it feels like i’m in a fairy tale if i go in the fairy tale world,would you stay back and think of me,you’re no longer good for me anymore…you’ve made me cry a lot, i guess i wasn’t good enough for you i loved you for so long….My brain was telling me to keep thinking about you but my heart was telling me no because my heart was breaking bad i was listening to my brain and not my heart if i go and never return would you be still standing their waiting for me while you are crying and tiring apart like i was and again thank you for my broken heart.My heart is retiring from heartbreaks.And i also have scares on my heart and my life also my arm…..Now i am lost,if i go would you stay back and think of me




Sad love story

Wrote by: Courtney Elisabeth Worthy


Tomorrow Morning……

Hi everyone sorry if i haven’t been writing any posts but i’v been busy lately and plus i won’t be on for a whole week and a day because i am going inpatient tomorrow morning around 10:00 So I am going to get more help like i wanted and i will post something when i get back home and tell y’all how i’v been and stuff anyways I hope you all have a great week i hope i do lol anyways Bye talk to you guys soon.


I’m getting closer to you,I’m closer to home but doesn’t seem it i keep wishing for something to happen but still no sign.I’m still going to tell my therapists that i want to be inpatient, i cut’ed 2 times last night…..how can a happy person cry more then she smiles?I seen the same figures since the 3rd plus last night it was this gray cloud and a black figure in the corner of my ceiling and i’m not even taking my night pills and still seeing things,I’m heartless because i have no heart to love anymore,No one will see my cry plus no one will listen to my feelings,I intend to push people away because i get this feeling that they don’t won’t believe me,It’s hard to not cry when i look at myself without make-up,It’s sad when i have to wear make-up so people see me,Again i don’t feel pretty in anyway how can i love myself if i don’t have a heart to love?


Is it too much to ask for?

Is it to much to ask for someone to understand me?

Is it to much to ask for some way i could be good enough?

Is it to much to ask for someone to let me feel the way i do?

Why does it feel like everyone is against how i feel,Like everything i want to do to help myself, It feels like everyone doesn’t like want i want to do wants best for me i want something that i want to help myself get better…i do want to be happy but to other people it looks like i am not trying few days ago i thought about Overdosing so i can get rid of this pain,The reason i haven’t done it yet is that i don’t want to hurt anyone around me i want to do wants best for me you know,i sometimes feel like i’m being misunderstood,so i just hold my feelings and thought to myself my own mother doesn’t believe me when i am trying to be happy because i listen to depression songs first of all i listen to depression songs how i feel are in those songs and stuff she doesn’t know want i went though since i was born,grew up without a father when i was 7 my mom started dating my step dad and my real father started coming back around when i was 10 and that’s when my mom married my step dad when i was 10 and i got told at age 8 that i can’t see my sister ashlynn i last seen her was when i was 8 and when i was 10 i got made to do something to a 16 year old boy which he made me and when i was in first grade another first grader told me to go home and kill my mother so i cried while i told my mother and but when i can see her again is when she turns 16 this summer i can’t wait i’m mad at myself because i left the best man i have ever loved but he played with my heart and he also lost my heart and he also toke my heart right out of my chest I’ve been losing my heart 2 years ago in 2016 and i am also getting make fun of,making to many mistakes, and All of this is why i cut to lose some pain but i get sadder everyday,i might not seem like i’m not sad but i fake my laugh my smile i even fake my happiness……..Again last night i cut’d again 2 times last night one cut for feelings misunderstood and the other one is for feeling like i am invisible and feeling like the outcast……..

The hardest thing to do is watch the one

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you LOVE

love someone else….I think of him but i can’t talk to him right now

I miss him but i can’t admit right now

I need him but i can’t show it right now

I love him but i can’t just tell him right now, i hate that i’m still hoping i fell in love with him because he loved me when i couldn’t love myself i acted like it wasn’t a big deal when really it was breaking my heart i’m broken because i believed i love him,and it’s killing me. My silence is just another word for my pain

Strange things



Stranger Things Recap: The Hunt for Dart

Photo: Courtesy Netflix
Stranger Things

Stranger Things

The PollywogSeason 2Episode 3

PrevNextComplete Series Coverage

When Dustin walks in the door on Halloween night, pillowcase full of loot in one hand and ghost trap containing an unknown reptilian creature in the other, his hairsprayed mother corners him, wondering how “the greatest night of the year” went. Rattled and anxious to get to the privacy of his room, “Dusty” isn’t as smooth as usual, and his mother resorts to a string of questions to determine what’s wrong, finally ending with “Are you constipated again?” It’s high-quality parlay between Catherine Curtin (Orange Is the New Black and Insecure), who replaces the uncredited actress who played Claudia Henderson in season one and can really sell a midwestern vowel, and Gaten Matarazzo, whose comic timing and physicality are uncanny for a prepubescent boy who had one filmed acting credit under his belt prior to Stranger Things.

This episode, even more than the first two of this season, does a particularly good job demonstrating the huge range of the young Stranger Things cast. It’s all on display here: Eleven’s deep, wrenching loneliness and despair at her lack of parentage; Will’s flaring jealousy over the presence of another girl in the group; and Dustin’s desire to have something of his own, even if it’s an otherworldly reptile.

One thing is for sure: The critter — named D’Artagnan, or Dart for short — definitely isn’t a pollywog. The other boys know it, and Dustin knows it, too, but to believe that Dart is anything more than an escapee from a local science experiment means admitting that the demogorgon trauma they so firmly tucked into the recesses of their minds might not have been isolated. As it is, the boys have to confront the age-old question of what to do about a secret that could be dangerous: Should they alert adults and have it taken from them, or try to be adults and handle it themselves? When Dustin finally catches Dart after he’s run loose through the school, hiding him under his hat from the other boys, he makes the decision for all of them — and probably risks their lives over it. In the span of a day, Dart has already at least tripled in size and grown some new legs. Surely he’ll keep getting bigger.Meanwhile, Will’s “visions” have been increasing in frequency and intensity. Bob, in his well-meaning way, encourages Will to simply face the monster in his head and tell it to go away. “Easy peasy,” he promises. If the monster were merely a figment of Will’s imagination, that tactic would probably work, or at least help boost Will’s confidence. Instead, when Dart’s shrieks send Will running from the Hawkins Middle School bathroom and he flashes into the Upside Down again — an experience the boys have presciently determined is like the Dungeons & Dragons skill Truesight, or “the ability to see into the ethereal plane” — what Will sees isn’t in his head. It’s stalking the sky above him, hidden behind a shadow of sorts, which occasionally lifts to reveal its true horrific form. In the last seconds of the episode, the many-limbed monster catches up to Will after he follows Bob’s advice, and then starts to pour its tentacles into the boy’s mouth, nose, and ears …

Love is in the air?

Love is in the air?


Nitrogen,Oxygen and Carbon,Dioxide,Weird faces are in the air…..

And Do i look weird at all? But wait til you see my funny face i might look happy like really happy but Like i said before i am so sad that i am good hiding my feelings




And then you see my weird face that i do to people while i walk by them lol they start laughing lol