Hey everyone, How are you guys and sorry that i haven’t been on i went to a hospital in January and Since i got out iv done some other stuff So now i am back on and Lately i been still feeling like A no body i still feel like i am still being pushed to the side and Forgotten about sometimes i, well for a few days now i’v Been trying to plug my ears and Nose and hold my breathe so it can go faster But i start getting pain chest and dizzy so that’s when i sit up and get teary eyes and I just think to myself and like why? Why am i doing this? Why did i try to overdose? Because in the middle of feb i toke 5 pills to make me feel numb which it worked and Made me fall asleep really fast and 2 days After that i tried 11 pills and it made me Kinda Weak and Sweat and Really tried so i just lay’ed down and closed my eyes and woke up the next morning And i was happy all i want to feel is Numb so i can be pain free but Can’t take this Anymore NO ONE TO TALK TO OR HANG OUT Only my closes friend Lives down the road by me And we been friends since She was 7 days and i was close to 6 months old when we became friends and since then we were friends with each other
I sometimes wish i can have someone to hold me though out the night and whisper in my ear that everything will be okay and someone who can wipe away my tears and someone to tell my problems too and who will listen to every word and who will listen til my tears dry up and someone to trust with my heart and someone to be their for me though my bad and good and someone to stop me from thinking about Taking some pills to take away the pain and who will tell me Everything will be okay and Again That doesn’t mean that i am happier since i got out of riverndal and that doesn’t mean that i still feel pain and that also doesn’t mean that i have thought about graping a knife and cut my wrist and see my blood running down my arm like my tears roll down my face at every night………I still wish that i had someone who will standby my side no matter want happens or want i am going though.
I love today because i hung out with my best friend last night and i slept over to and We dressed up into Characters and took pictures and listen to some music and i might be staying with my best friend/sister/cousin Tonight……The best part is that we grew up together since birth and I’m glade that i have her as my best friend because She’s helped me though my tough times and She lets me cry on her shoulder whenever i need to and The worst part is that i feel like a bad friend sometimes because when she is going though Something and she is feeling sad about something and I don’t know until i see her and when she is having a break down and thinking about Bad thoughts and I am NEVER their to stop her from thinking that kind of things………
I am so sorry that i haven’t been on i’v been busy lately and Other stuff been going on anyways i hope everyone is doing okay and i am so doing okay and i just wanted to check on my followers today
Hows everyone today?
Hi guys i am gonna tell you want i am doing today………
Today i am going to see my therapist today every Monday i see my therapist at 11:00 A.m But today is going fast so we forgot want time i was so now at 1:00 P.m in the afternoon i am going to see my therapist and talk to her for an hour and then come back home for a few hours and at 4:30 i got to be at my support group on time and be their for 2 hours and then come home and eat dinner and get ready for bed and wake up tomorrow morning and get all my school work done and get on my blog and write and read stuff and Ext. And then wesuday comes around and on wesuday night i am standing in front of the youth group and tell them about my past and tell them how God changed my life around
Remember the memories we shared together
Remember the moments we shared together
Remember the words we use to say to each other
Remember the hugs we shared together
Remember the laughs we shared together
Remember the smiles we shared together
Remember the kisses we shared together
Remember the tears we shared together
Remember the fights we shared together
I do,Everyday i think about these things and i wonder if i ever cross you’re mind and i wonder if you feel the same way as i do and i wonder if you cry sometimes when you look at the picture book i gave you…….I will tell you this someday when we date again i promise i will make everything better again
Feb 1st 2018
Hi everyone, i am going to tell you how God changed me around…..
First i’v been though a lot lately and Now i’v been going to a new church and i am new and i went away to get some help with my depression and get me better and now to me It seems like he gave me a sign and i kept telling him all last please take my life and please let me die i can’t take this pain anymore but yet on the 10th of last month i went somewhere for help but since i came back i went to a new church which is called New Hope and last night i went to the youth group and One of the youth pastor their and i sat down with that person and like i got saved when i was 13 but last year i went to church camp and i got saved again last year and Last night i told the person who i talked too i said that i thought want it meant but really i don’t know but Next week i am going to walk up and in front the teens who goes to youth group and tell them about my past and how i became depressed and How God Gave me a sign saying i need to live to spread his word around the world and get people to believe that they don’t have to fear nothing because God is in our hearts and How he helped me though my tough times………
THANK GOD FOR DIEING FOR US AND BEING BY OURSIDES THANK YOU 🙂
Wrote by:Courtney Elizabeth Worthy